help4yourfamily

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Parent Affirmation Monday- 10/29/2012- Love

English: In the End ...

English: In the End … (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Written by, Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C

This week we are focusing on the second of the parenting characteristics detailed in the PLACE attitude, loving. While it may seem simple to say we must always strive to parent with love, as parents we know that can be hard at times. I find the matter to be simplified if I focus on the true intent behind my interactions with my children, without being side-tracked by the other details.

Take chores as an example, yes, I do want my children to help with the dishes but what is behind that desire? Sometimes the desire we are most connected to when we ask is the desire not to do the dishes ourselves, but we also know that there are times we ask our children to do a chore that we could easily do in less time, with less effort for the child, and less effort for us. So why bother to ask children to do chores at all? Of course we do it because we want them to grow up to be contributing members of society and to any relationship with others. Why do we care about that? Because we love them and want our children to be happy and proud of themselves as they grow into adults. Boiled down to its most essential qualities, our direction toward our children comes, for most parents, from a place of love because we care about them and their happiness.

There are ways to phrase requests or instructions that help our children to know that we are coming from a place of love. One of these ways I detailed in my post, End the Hassle! Tell Kids What They Deserve, in which I describe how to tell kids they deserve a clean room, safety, a healthy body, less stress about school (i.e.- do your homework), etc. Some other statements that put love first with your children:

I love you too much to argue with you about this.

I love you more than I care about what you accidentally broke/spilled/ruined.

I don’t want you to feel any worse than you are going to feel about talking to me this way, let’s both cool off in a separate room…

I love you.

You are special to me.

I was thinking about you today.

I think you get the picture. This weeks affirmation is:

I am loving and loveable and I honor my love for my children by showing them with my words and actions.

Remember, the more you say the affirmation, the truer it becomes for you. If you find yourself slipping, remind yourself that is how you used to talk to your kids before you figured out this way of talking. Forgive yourself, because you probably learned how to talk to yourself and your children the other way from your parents, who learned it from their parents, and so on. Congratulate yourself on trying something new. Good luck!

October 29, 2012 - Posted by | affirmations, help for parents, parent support/ self improvement, Parenting | , , , , , , ,

3 Comments »

  1. […] Parent Affirmation Monday- 10/29/2012- Love (help4yourfamily.com) […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- Accepting- 11/5/2012 « help4yourfamily | November 5, 2012 | Reply

  2. […] Parent Affirmation Monday- 10/29/2012- Love (help4yourfamily.com) […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- Curious- 11/12/12 « help4yourfamily | November 12, 2012 | Reply

  3. […] Parent Affirmation Monday- 10/29/2012- Love (help4yourfamily.com) […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- Empathic- 11/17/2012 « help4yourfamily | November 19, 2012 | Reply


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