Laugh and your family laughs with you
Written by, Kate Oliver, LCSW-C
After a couple of days of heavy posts, it’s time to lighten the mood. I’ll post about good programs tomorrow like I said I would, but for now, let’s talk about bringing a little light and levity to our everyday life with our children. Sometimes, all you can do is laugh…or cry. I would encourage you to laugh. Sure, I could tell you about all the research that tells you that laughter is, indeed, the best medicine for many situations, but you can easily look that up, or you can just trust me on this one. Laugh more. Build humor into your family system. Make sure that your children understand your humor (even if they do not like it). Most importantly, teach your children to laugh at themselves by laughing at yourself. My younger daughter does an impression of my husband when he is telling her to clean up that is hilarious. We all laugh, then we clean up.
This morning, when I grumbled at my older daughter to rinse her mouth after brushing her teeth (who doesn’t rinse after you went to the trouble of brushing!?) because I’m tired of paying an extra car payments worth of money every time we go to the dentist, I went up to the bathroom after she went to school and found a post-it note she put up in the bathroom to remind herself to rinse:
In case you can’t read that, it said “RINSE OR DIE!”
Parenting does not have to be a series of serious teaching lessons all put together. It can be easy to forget this. You can teach, love, learn and grow with fun and laughter. Have a child that asks obvious questions all the time? Find a code word, like “marshmallows” that tells them they are asking a question they already know the answer to and use it whenever they ask nonsense questions.
Kid: “What’s for dinner (while they are staring at you cooking a hamburger)”
Parent: “Marshmallows.”
Kid: “When are we going to get there?” (on a trip they have been on 100 times).
Parent: “When we pass the sign with the marshmallows on it.”
Kid: “Do I have to do my homework?”
Parent: “Just do it until you get to the part about the marshmallows.”
Marshmallow Nightmares!! (Photo credit: katerha)
It might drive them crazy, but it keeps you a little more sane while you focus on a fun way to fit more marshmallows into your life.
Laugh together over silly jokes or silly things they say. Make sure you are laughing with not at. No one like to feel like people are laughing at them but laughing together as a family brings your family closer and reminds us why we brought these “no-rent paying, mess making little people,” as my husband likes to say, into your home in the first place.
How do you laugh with your family? Please fell free to share a funny story that makes you smile 🙂
16 Comments »
Leave a reply to Bridgette Loeffler Cancel reply
About me
Kate Oliver, LCSW-C (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) has been a clinician working with traumatized and attachment-disturbed children for almost two decades. She is co-owner of A Healing Place, a private practice in Columbia, Maryland, since 2007.
At the beginning of her career, Kate found that while some children responded to traditional child therapy practices, there were a significant number of children who showed little or no improvement in their overall emotional well-being. This led her to seek out specialized training to learn more about attachment, the bond between parents and children, and found that by using attachment-based strategies in addition to treating trauma, even the most challenging children and their parents, saw major, life-changing shifts, not only for the children she was working with, but the parents as well.
Early in her career, Kate was privileged to work as the clinical director for Tamar’s Children, a program that took pregnant, incarcerated women from prison to a treatment facility that worked on teaching the women to bond with and attach to their babies, while also helping the women to heal their own broken attachments, and history of trauma and addiction. This program was internationally recognized for having a successful, evidence-based practice using an attachment-based model. From working with some of the most severely disenfranchised parents, Kate received important information about how to help all parents maintain a happy, healthy relationship with their children.
In 2007, Kate co-founded A Healing Place, a mental health private group practice in Columbia, Maryland, where she focuses on working with families with children who have a history of trauma and/or attachment disturbances. A board certified supervisor, Kate has been an invited presenter to teach continuing education courses for other social workers and psychologists. In her courses, Kate teaches attachment-building techniques and presents about her sub-specialty, working with families headed by gay and lesbian parents. Kate has also worked as a trainer for Building Families for Children, a therapeutic foster care agency.
Kate is a former board member for the organization COLAGE, a non-profit group that works toward community building for people with gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgender parents. She is currently a member of Attachment Disorders Maryland, a group that works to educate parents and professionals about working with children with attachment related issues. She is a Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Practitioner and Educator.
Kate lives in Columbia, Maryland is the mother of two amazing daughters, the partner to a fantastic husband, and the daughter of one mother and two gay dads. She loves to read any book that crosses her path, write (of course), and she recently started dancing again, a passion she has had since her youth.
Kate can be reached by email: helpforyourfamily@gmail.com for questions or you can find her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/Help4yourfamily.
-
Recent
- 6 Tips for Connecting with Your Teenager
- Updates and New Content on the Way
- Making Peace With Your Inner Critic
- Happy Parent Tip #1
- Why Sexual Abuse is Never a Child’s Fault…Not Even a Teenager
- Naming Patterns Changes Patterns
- This is your brain on attachment
- Last Chance for Two Great Opportunities
- Mother’s Retreat Weekend- It’s Really Happening!
- Stopping the Parent Shame and Blame Game
- Making Peace With Your Inner Critic
- Putting together something fun for you!
-
Links
help4yourfamily 
Love your “Marshmallows”.
Great written content and great layout. Your blog deserves all the positive feedback it’s been getting.
Hello.This article was extremely fascinating, especially because I was browsing for thoughts on this topic last Sunday.
[…] Laugh and Your Family Laughs With You (help4yourfamily.com) Rate this:Share this:TwitterFacebookEmailPrintRedditPinterestLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
Pingback by The Importance of Delight | help4yourfamily | June 13, 2012 |
I am not sure where you’re getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent information I was looking for this info for my mission.
you are my inspiration , I have few web logs and occasionally run out from to post : (.
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!
Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!
I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your weblog and check again here regularly. I’m quite sure I’ll learn many new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
I’m still learning from you, as I’m trying to achieve my goals. I certainly liked reading all that is posted on your website.Keep the information coming. I enjoyed it!
Lovely website! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am taking your feeds also
Keep working ,terrific job!
My brother suggested I might like this web site. He was totally right. This post actually made my day. You cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!
I wanted to write you a bit of observation to help give thanks the moment again about the magnificent suggestions you have shared on this site. It was so tremendously generous of you to allow extensively precisely what many individuals could have distributed as an e-book to help with making some cash for their own end, even more so seeing that you could have done it in case you desired. These advice also served to be the good way to fully grasp that some people have similar fervor much like my personal own to realize good deal more on the topic of this condition. I think there are several more enjoyable instances up front for those who check out your site.
Great website! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am taking your feeds also
[…] Laugh and Your Family Laughs With You (help4yourfamily.com) […]
Pingback by Naming Patterns Changes Patterns « help4yourfamily | August 8, 2013 |