Create the family you want to have

Parent Affirmation Monday- passion- 9/17/2012

Written by, Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C

English: Children dancing, International Peace...

English: Children dancing, International Peace Day 2009, Geneva. Français : Enfants dansant, Journée internationale de la Paix 2009, Genève. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How many of you work really hard to make sure your children find something they are interested in where they can focus some creative energy? As parents we find ourselves encouraging our children to write, dance, draw, paint, create, enjoy a sport! But, of those of us who have worked so hard to help our children, how many are there who have lost our own drive to be creative and/or to focus our own energy on something that is joyful to us? Think of something that brought you joy when you were younger. When was the last time you did it?

I know when I was younger I was a dancer. You name a type of dance: tap, jazz, ballet, modern, contemporary, ballroom, I’ve done them all. Around the time I was a teenager, I knew that I did not have a body that you typically saw back then in the dance world, even though now there have been some changes. I knew it would not be a profession for me but I kept at it anyway. It made me happy. When my children came along, I stopped dancing, except for our home dance parties we had several times a week. So many times over the years since, I have remarked how I miss having the kind of creative energy in my life that dance brought. I had so many excuses for not dancing. I’m too old. I will never do it professionally. My children are the ones that get to take classes now. My turn is over.

For a while now, I have had a budding theory about why so many young adults return home after college (more than can be accounted for by the downturn in the economy). One theory I have is that they do not look forward to growing up because it just doesn’t look like it’s any fun! What do adults do? We work. Many adults walk around groggy, tired, resentful, sarcastic, and annoyed much of the time. Let’s work on bringing some of the fun back into adulthood.

I recently started dancing again. I’m the oldest in the class (including the teacher). I am sure no one has muscles that feel more sore than mine the next day. I will still never do it as a profession. But still, I have no idea why I stayed away so long. I love it. It connects me to my soul.

This week, I want to plant the seed for each of you to remember something that you loved to do as a child. Was it drawing? Painting? Soccer? Basketball? Was there something you were not allowed to do but always wanted to try? I want to plant the seed in your mind to start thinking about dusting off that activity as a possibility in the back of your mind. Think of a step you can take toward making that thought a reality. One of my favorite poets is Mary Oliver (no relation that I know of), who asks in her poem The Summer Day, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

When you are thinking of what to do, think of what it will mean for your children to see you enjoying your life and giving yourself freedom to be healthy and creative. Think beyond the irritation or crying they may do about you going out for a bit to enjoy yourself and look at the larger picture of creating a model for them of an adulthood that includes joy and enthusiasm for life.

Our affirmation for this week is:

I find joy in life and take part in activities that feed my spirit.

So, please share with me, what is it that you plan to do? If it feels difficult to reach, just think of what you would like to do and feel free to share that. I would love to help you problem solve ways to reincorporate joy into your life.

September 17, 2012 - Posted by | affirmations | , , , , , , ,


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    Comment by licensedmentalhealthcounselor | September 17, 2012 | Reply

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