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Monday is Parent Affirmation Day at Help4yourfamily! 5/28/2012

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Written by, Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C

In the past week I have had two quotes come to visit me several times.  One has been a favorite of mine for a long time, Kahlil Gibran’s quote from his poem, On Children.  “Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.  They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”  The other quote, I had never heard before last week, which is pretty surprising to me.  It comes from Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born…and the day you find out why.”  Each of these quotes reminds us that our children are more than just our children.  We each, all of us, are put on this earth with special, unique skills and talents.  Our children are not here to please us but to meet their own unique purpose and to believe that we control that purpose is to tell ourselves a fantastical lie.  Many parents buy into this fantasy with disasterous results.  To let go of the fantasy that we control the exact ways in which our children will form into adults is to free ourselves and our children from the inevitable feeling of failure that old attitude would bring.  This weeks affirmation is:

I allow my child to explore his or her own unique talents and abilities.  I work on finding mine as well.

This does not mean that I must drop everything and spend all of my time and money on getting my daughter to dance class.  What it means is that I am accepting of her dreams and support her in the best way I can now.  It also means that I model for her through my own openness to my unique talents and abilities.

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May 28, 2012 - Posted by | affirmations, child development | , , , , ,

5 Comments »

  1. […] Parent Affirmation Day 5/28/2012 (Help4yourfamily.com) […]

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  4. i actually find it very hard to take them srilousey.why?because they have absolutely NO idea about the reality of parenting.it’s even harder when they follow their advice with my child won’t ever drink/smoke/swear.i will never be cross or impatient and i will just be the BESTEST mum/dad ever!’i’m sorry,but you’re how old,12?as long as they don’t pretend to *know* just how i’m feeling,and that they’ve been there’ then they can give advice all they want,i probably won’t listenim sorry if you felt i was personally getting at you.but the problem is,you know the theory,not the reality.are you there at 3am when that mum has a screaming baby and is terrified that something is srilousey wrong?how about when she is upset that her baby has been hurt,accidentally,in her care?ive heard non-parents say i know just how you’re feeling’ when in actually fact,no they don’t.im also talking about the naivety of non parents assuming their kids(if they have them that is) will be these perfect textbook kids and that they wont mess up.hate to tell you this,but you will.i can take advice from a non parent if its something in regards to say,my sons nursery they are professionals,and there are set guidelines.however,if it was on a personal matter,an issue with parenting,i couldnt because you have no experience being a parent

    Comment by Yas | June 23, 2012 | Reply

  5. […] I allow my child to explore his or her own unique talents and abilities.  I work on finding mine as… […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- review #1 8/20/2012 « help4yourfamily | August 20, 2012 | Reply


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