Parent Affirmation Monday- sleep 9/10/2012
Written by, Kate Oliver, LCSW-C
peaceful (Photo credit: mikecpeck)
How often do we argue with our children about going to bed? Every night? We argue with them because we know that getting enough sleep each night is important so that they can have a healthy, productive day the next day. As parents we all go through a time of wonder as we watch children fight sleep at night and naps during the day while we are on the opposite end wishing we could take that nap, or thinking how much we would like to go to sleep at 8 pm! At the same time, we engage in some of the same battles internally about sleep.
How often do you find yourself sitting in front of the television or trying to get one more thing done while thinking you need to turn off the t.v., or put down the work and go to bed? I personally remember sitting up and either folding clothes, or watching television or both, while knowing I needed sleep more than anything else. I also remember when my kids were little, I would stay up later than I knew was good for me and I would say to myself, “This is the only time I get for me in a day! I’m going to get some “me time.” Meanwhile, my “me time,” that included staying up too late, cost me my patience, my positive attitude, and sometimes even my health. People who get enough sleep are happier, healthier and more productive at work, and at home. Did you know getting enough sleep is even tied to maintaining a healthier weight? It is because when your body is trying to please you by staying awake as you tell it you would like to, it requests foods (like carbohydrates and sugars) that will give it a little more pep.
So, this week, I would like us to do positive affirmations for sleep. I would also like to give you an exercise you can do for yourself and for your children. I learned this from Wayne Dyer. For the last five minutes before you drift off to sleep, instead of thinking of all the things you did not accomplish today that you meant to, and stressing out about all you have to do tomorrow that you are not looking forward to, pick something that is a goal for you. Lie in your bed and imagine that your goal has been achieved. Think about how it feels to have achieved your goal. This sets up your mind for a positive day the next day and helps you to have fewer anxiety dreams if that is a problem for you.
This weeks affirmation is:
I give myself the gift of getting as much sleep as my body needs. I teach my children positive sleep habits by modeling them.
I know some of you are out there saying that you would sleep better if your children did. If this is an issue for you, I would recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth. My friends and I secretly call this book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Mommy. This book covers sleep issues at all ages and stages. While some people have stated that they think the book advocates allowing children to cry it out, a closer read will show that this is not what the author actually says. He advocates looking for your young children’s signs that they are sleepy, teaches you what those signs are, and gives you guidance in how to educate yourself and your children about sleep. You can find his book on Amazon by clicking the link titled Amazon Widgets at the top right of this page to go directly to amazon.
Sweet Dreams.
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About me
Kate Oliver, LCSW-C (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) has been a clinician working with traumatized and attachment-disturbed children for almost two decades. She is co-owner of A Healing Place, a private practice in Columbia, Maryland, since 2007.
At the beginning of her career, Kate found that while some children responded to traditional child therapy practices, there were a significant number of children who showed little or no improvement in their overall emotional well-being. This led her to seek out specialized training to learn more about attachment, the bond between parents and children, and found that by using attachment-based strategies in addition to treating trauma, even the most challenging children and their parents, saw major, life-changing shifts, not only for the children she was working with, but the parents as well.
Early in her career, Kate was privileged to work as the clinical director for Tamar’s Children, a program that took pregnant, incarcerated women from prison to a treatment facility that worked on teaching the women to bond with and attach to their babies, while also helping the women to heal their own broken attachments, and history of trauma and addiction. This program was internationally recognized for having a successful, evidence-based practice using an attachment-based model. From working with some of the most severely disenfranchised parents, Kate received important information about how to help all parents maintain a happy, healthy relationship with their children.
In 2007, Kate co-founded A Healing Place, a mental health private group practice in Columbia, Maryland, where she focuses on working with families with children who have a history of trauma and/or attachment disturbances. A board certified supervisor, Kate has been an invited presenter to teach continuing education courses for other social workers and psychologists. In her courses, Kate teaches attachment-building techniques and presents about her sub-specialty, working with families headed by gay and lesbian parents. Kate has also worked as a trainer for Building Families for Children, a therapeutic foster care agency.
Kate is a former board member for the organization COLAGE, a non-profit group that works toward community building for people with gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgender parents. She is currently a member of Attachment Disorders Maryland, a group that works to educate parents and professionals about working with children with attachment related issues. She is a Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Practitioner and Educator.
Kate lives in Columbia, Maryland is the mother of two amazing daughters, the partner to a fantastic husband, and the daughter of one mother and two gay dads. She loves to read any book that crosses her path, write (of course), and she recently started dancing again, a passion she has had since her youth.
Kate can be reached by email: helpforyourfamily@gmail.com for questions or you can find her on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/Help4yourfamily.
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I may give this a try!
I would love to know how it goes and whether you gift yourself with a more peaceful day the next day. If you do, please let me know and we can post it on the wall of Awesome Parenting 🙂
Even though I’m tired a lot, I always have a hard time falling asleep – not sure why. Thanks for the tip!
Hi Shannon, Thanks for commenting. You might want to also see if you are missing your sleep window, that is the window of time during which you are best able to fall asleep. If we do not go to bed when our bodies tell us we are tired but force ourselves to stay awake for just a bit longer, our body gets the memo that we want to stay up and tries to make that happen even when we are very tired. Good luck 🙂
Sleep is so important for the brain, not just something for someone who feels they get enough. Whether you realize it or not, your thinking skills the next day will be affected by the amount of rest you got the night before. Even if you do not realize it because you are in a robotic like work pattern and are use to doing the same thing everyday. Funny they say you are not paid to think, so you only need so much sleep just enough to be active. That is very unhealthy and will affect brain health over time.