Create the family you want to have

Parent Affirmation Monday- Boundaries 7/16/2012

Written by Kate Oliver, LCSW-C

English: Children at play in the 'Cottage Home...

Boundaries are tough for a lot of people, especially if they were not always honored for you while you were growing up in your family of origin.  They are also ever- changing.  The boundaries you have with your two-year old will be very different from those you have with your teenager.  Extenuating family circumstances and developmental issues can also play a major role in the boundaries we set with our children.

What I would like for each parent to take a moment to do this week is to really think about how your child will have many, many adults go in and out of their lives, but very few parents.  Your role is so special and unique for your child.  They look to you to show them the way to be in the world.  They want you to guide them and teach them how to feel peaceful and happy.  While it can seem like helping kids feel peaceful and happy means giving them free rein to explore, do and receive  as they wish, children actually seek and need you to set reasonable limits for them.  

You can see how important boundaries are when you look at children who seem to get all they want.  Watch the children you know in your lives that get the toys right when they want them and whose parents take them anywhere they want to go.  They are often the most demanding, unhappy children you will see.  Parents that fool themselves into thinking that they must meet all of their children’s desires in order to make them happy are actually breeding unhappiness in their children along with a search for more and more and the message that the issues inside can be resolved by “getting something” from the outside.  When children feel as though they are safely contained within the confines of a parental relationship where their parents are allowing them to explore in a way that is safe, and where they have limits, they feel better!

The affirmation for this week is:

I maintain healthy boundaries with my children.

July 16, 2012 - Posted by | affirmations | , ,


  1. Great affirmation for the week!Thank you!

    Comment by soarwithfirefly | July 16, 2012 | Reply

    • So glad you liked it. Thank you for commenting 🙂

      Comment by help4yourfamily | July 16, 2012 | Reply

  2. Wow awesome topic and great post. I definitely see the effects of parenting without boundaries. Too often I see teenagers who’s parents want to be there friends and set very little to no boundaries. These end up being the same teenagers who have no respect for not only their parents, but most adults, end up getting involved with drugs, alcohol and risky sexual behaviors because they have no boundaries.

    Comment by licensedmentalhealthcounselor | July 16, 2012 | Reply

    • Agreed. Kids tend to keep pushing until they feel the boundaries. If they never feel them, they don’t stop pushing. Thanks for reblogging 🙂

      Comment by help4yourfamily | July 16, 2012 | Reply

  3. Reblogged this on Licensed Mental Health Counselor.

    Comment by licensedmentalhealthcounselor | July 16, 2012 | Reply

  4. […] Parent Affirmation Monday- Boundaries- 7/16/2012 […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- Healthy Eating 7/23/2012 « help4yourfamily | July 23, 2012 | Reply

  5. […] I maintain healthy boundaries with my children. […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- review #2 8/27/2012 « help4yourfamily | August 27, 2012 | Reply

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