Create the family you want to have

Monday is Parent Affirmation Day at Help 4 Your Family!- 7/2/2012- Words


Written by, Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C

I recently read a book  by Don Miguel Ruiz titled, The Four Agreements.  In this book, the author states that one of the most important things we must all do is to “be impeccable with your words.”  This week, I want us all to use this as our affirmation:

I am impeccable with my words.

When you are using this affirmation, take a moment to think about what it means.  It means that we speak truthfully to and about ourselves and to and about others.  When you find yourself saying out loud or internally, “I am terrible!  That was awful!”  STOP and remember our affirmation this week: I am impeccable with my words.  Are you really terrible?  Was that really awful?  Or perhaps would it be more true to say that you wished you handled something differently?  Look at the difference between saying you are terrible and saying you wish you handled something differently.

Many of today’s parents of younger children are familiar with the recommendation to say to children, “I don’t like what you did” instead of saying, “Don’t be bad.”  When you say, “I don’t like what you did.” a child hears you tell them something about their behavior.  When you say, “Don’t be bad.” a child hears you say something about your beliefs about who they are.  Being impeccable with our words is so important for us and for our children.  My belief is that many of us work to be flawless with our words with children while we neglect the words we say to ourselves.  I really want you to stop neglecting this part!  Be precise about the words you say to yourself.

This week, whenever possible, take time to examine the language you use with yourself and your child.  Work to be precise rather than over generalizing.  Please refrain from using this affirmation as an additional excuse to be hard on yourself.  When you hear the same old language come out of your mouth that you are beginning to see is not actually accurate, gently say to yourself “I am impeccable with my words.” and correct the language you just used with yourself or with someone else.

If you are looking for the book I mentioned, you can find it by clicking on my recommended reading widget at the top left of this webpage.*

*see disclaimer

July 2, 2012 - Posted by | affirmations | , , , , , ,


  1. What a wonderful approach. Improvement rather that judgement and condemnation of the self and others. It is good to remember to be nice to yourself. Thank you.

    Comment by queenoffamilosity | July 2, 2012 | Reply

    • Thank you 🙂 It is always easier to be kind to others when we are also being kind to ourselves.

      Comment by help4yourfamily | July 2, 2012 | Reply

  2. I am still surprised at how often the power of words and self-talk is neglected. It is one of the first thing I try to teach my clients to pay attention to and change, yet I know from experience it is easier said then done. I think this affirmation is a great reminder and an excellent way to approach the issue. Thank you.

    Comment by licensedmentalhealthcounselor | July 2, 2012 | Reply

    • It is so funny that we are often reluctant to change our internal voice for ourselves and as parents, we can neglect our self-talk even further. What we fail to realize is that by neglecting our own internal life we are also passing that self-talk down to our children. I see parents who are not willing to change for themselves, but are willing to change for their children. I’m glad you liked the blog 🙂 Thanks for the reblog.

      Comment by help4yourfamily | July 2, 2012 | Reply

  3. Reblogged this on Licensed Mental Health Counselor.

    Comment by licensedmentalhealthcounselor | July 2, 2012 | Reply

  4. I am so guilty of being hard on myself. Our family therapist was always telling me to give myself more grace.

    Comment by shannon2818 | July 3, 2012 | Reply

    • We all need the reminder! In her book, Inner Peace for Busy Women, Joan Borysenko talks about “Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt” and I totally get it. Moms especially are conditioned for this feeling. I believe if we can change our inner talk to be more loving by even just 5 or 10%, we will all be happier and healthier, including our children. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

      Comment by help4yourfamily | July 3, 2012 | Reply

  5. […] Monday is Parent Affirmation Day at Help 4 Your Family 7/2/2012 […]

    Pingback by Monday is Parent Affirmation Day at Help 4 Your Family! 7/9/2012- unique | help4yourfamily | July 9, 2012 | Reply

  6. […] I am impeccable with my words. […]

    Pingback by Parent Affirmation Monday- review #2 8/27/2012 « help4yourfamily | August 27, 2012 | Reply

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