help4yourfamily

Finding a therapist for a traumatized and/or attachment disordered child

Some elementary school counselors use books and other media to help their counseling (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As therapist who specializes in both trauma and attachment disorders, I can tell you it is important if you are searching for a therapist for one or both of these issues, that you find the right therapist for your child.  Doing so will save you a lot of money and aggravation and is more likely to speed the healing time for your child.  To start, look at my post on  finding the right therapist for you or your child (you can find the link at the bottom of this post).  With these particular children, and probably people with other specialized issues as well, there are further steps you would want to take to ensure that you have the right person.  I see the steps for this particular issue as follows:

1.  Figure out if your child has “only” trauma, or has trauma with attachment related issues.  Here is the distinction, a child with trauma without attachment disturbance usually experienced a one time occurence, or something that happened over a relatively short period of time and was quickly identified.  Trauma with attachment related issues is trauma that also impacts a child’s ability to bond with their caregivers in a healthy way, for example abuse or neglect by a primary caregiver or ongoing abuse or neglect that a child did not disclose.  If you feel as though your child’s trust in adults to provide care for them has been altered significantly, you will want to see someone with knowledge of attachment related issues.  To clarify this distinction, a teenager carrying on a short-term, secret relationship with a much older adult that they thought was younger or who was tricked into a situation where they kept a secret because they were breaking the rules when they were traumatized does not fall into this category of attachment disturbance.  It is within reason to anticipate that teenagers will try to stretch or break the rules and it does not signify a break in a child’s core ability to trust that their parents will care for them.  A teenager whose step sibling was abusing them for an extended period of time whenever their sibling came to stay at the home does fall under the category of possible attachment disturbance.  The difference is the primary caregivers were around at the time of the trauma and did not know to stop it, while in the first example, the teen was doing an activity it would be reasonable to assume is developmentally expected but someone took advantage of them inappropriately.  When in doubt, I would see someone who specializes in both trauma and attachment.   If you find that there is an attachment related issue for your child’s situation, I would always make sure to take the child to a therapist that understands attachment because in order to work on attachment disorders or disturbance, you must know about trauma since the two go hand in hand.

2.  Once you have determined whether you are looking for a therapist with trauma training or whether you need someone with an attachment and trauma focus, follow the steps from my first post on finding a therapist and ask these additional questions.

• What is your training in attachment and trauma?
• What recent trainings have you attended or conducted that relate to attachment and/or trauma?
• How do you conduct your sessions?

The answers to these questions, if you are talking to the correct therapist, should indicate that the person stays actively engaged in seeking training for attachment and trauma related issues.  Additionally, an attachment specialist will indicate to you that you will be in the room for most, if not all, of the time that your child is in therapy with them.  Attachment oriented therapy is significantly different in that a therapist focuses much more on your relationship with your child rather than their relationship with your child.  In traditional therapy including therapy for singular trauma, you would take your child to see the therapist, you might check in with the therapist at the beginning or the end, then your child would see the therapist alone for the majority of the session.

While traditional therapy is effective with many children, for children with attachment disturbance, it can actually damage a child’s relationship with their parent.  I have seen this happen, since a child with attachment disturbance has a tendency to reject caregivers, and, while they are alone with a therapist they may talk to their therapist about how terrible and difficult their parents are.  The therapist and child will bond over this and the therapist shakes their head in disbelief, meanwhile they may be overlooking a parent who is really trying their hardest to meet the child’s needs while reinforcing for the child that the caregivers in their lives are, in fact, inadequate.  Remember, children with attachment disturbance see adults as unsafe on some level and tend to fit them into these categories.  A skilled attachment therapist will spot when a child is doing this and help them to retrain their system of trust by teaching them how to find trustworthy adults and by training the adults in their lives to be trustworthy in the way the child needs them to be.  To learn more about attachment disturbance you can see my post linked below “What is attachment disorder?”

**A note to providers- I understand that you have seen parents who are, in fact, inadequate.  For this post, I am assuming that a parent who cares enough to read this post is adequate because they are involved and caring enough to research this issue.

Stay tuned for my post on getting specialized treatment for your child- the things insurance companies won’t tell you that can help you get your child’s treatment paid for.

Related articles

• What is attachment disorder? (help4yourfamily.com)
• Finding the right counselor/therapist for you and your family (help4yourfamily.com)
• How to know when you or your child need a therapist (help4yourfamily.com)

April 16, 2012 - Posted by help4yourfamily | attachment, attachment disorder, health insurance, help for parents, thinking about therapy? | Attachment disorder, Child, Child abuse, mental health, parent, Psychological trauma, Psychotherapy