Parent Affirmation Monday- 8/13/2012- control
Written by, Kate Oliver, MSW, LCSW-C
I care more about my child (or husband/wife, etc) than I care about this conflict.
How often do we get into it with our kids over something little? Do you argue with your child about the right way to do something, or getting it done the way we want them to do it? This week, I am challenging you to pay attention to how much you do this and whether you may be able to pull back that behavior a little bit to allow your children (or your spouse) to do it their way.
A recent study came out that says that mothers who feel as though they are the most essential component of their child’s life (over fathers even) are more likely to feel overwhelmed and depressed. When we seek to control the actions of others (even our children), we are certain to get into a power struggle. Yes, common parent knowledge these days says that if you give an order, you must follow through. But how often are we demanding that things must be done only our way? There is a happy medium between the constant negotiations we know children are capable of and completely avoiding all conflict. Let’s try to find that for you with your children and with your adult relationships.
I distinctly remember when I realized my husband does some things better than I do with the children. Honestly, I was a little put off. My inner critic wanted to tell me I should know how to do everything better- being a child therapist and all, but, guess what? He is better at playing with them, joking them out of a funk and getting them into and out of the bath without argument among other things. This week, be open to the possibility that children and significant other adult relationships may do things differently in a way that might be just as good, or better than you expected.
- Raising Successful Children (nommimarlik.wordpress.com)
- Mother is Best? Why “Intensive Parenting” Makes Moms More Depressed (healthland.time.com)
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